Looking attentively to the biography of the Prophet – peace be upon him – you will find that he was extending a great deal respect to his wives and was paying high attention, care and love towards them.
He was the best example for the ideal manners toward the wife. He was comforting his wives, wiping their tears, respecting their emotions, hearing their words, caring for their complaints, alleviating their sadness, going in picnics with them, racing with them, bearing their abandonment, discussing matters with them, keeping their dignity, supporting them in emergencies, declaring his love to them and was very happy with such love. Here are some attractive examples and shining moments in his life:
Knowing Their Feelings
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was telling Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her: "I know well when you are pleased or angry from me. Aisha replied: how you know that? He said: when you are pleased with me you swear by saying "by the God of Mohammad" but when you are angry you swear by saying "by the God of Ibrahim". She said: you are right, I just desert you name. In another narration the same tradition ended by saying: "no, by the God of Ibrahim".
Understanding their Jealousy & Love
Umm Salama – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: she brought food in a dish of her own to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and his companions. Seeing that, Aisha came holding a tool and broke the dish out of jealousy. Understanding the situation, the Prophet took the two halves of the dish and said to his companions: eat your food, it is just the jealousy of your mother, then the Prophet took the dish of Aisha and gave it to Um Salama and gave the dish of Um Salama to Aisha.
Understanding their Psychology & Nature
The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "treat women kindly, they were created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the highest part thereof; so, if you tried to rectify the rib it will be broken and if you left the rib as it is, it will remain crooked, and women are just like this; therefore treat them kindly"
This tradition is not for dispraising women as understood by the public, contrary, it is for teaching and educating men. Moreover, this tradition expressed the accurate understanding of the nature of the women and indicated the possibility of leaving the woman as it is in the permissible things but to guide her if she exceeded the permissible limits such as doing the sins and neglecting the duties.
Complaining to & Consulting Them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – has consulted his wives in the most delicate and important matters such as consulting his wife Um Salama – may Allah be pleased with her – regarding Al-Hudaibia treaty. The Prophet – peace be upon him – had written the treaty between him and the polytheists of Quraish in Al-Hudaibia region, in the hudaibia year and told his companions: go to make sacrifice and shave, but no one responded. The Prophet– peace be upon him – repeated that three times but still no one responded to him. Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – went to Um Salama and told her about the matter. Hearing that, Um Salam said: o Prophet of Allah, just go and don't speak to any one until you make your sacrifice and shave. The Prophet– peace be upon him – went out and did not speak to anyone until he did the same. Seeing that, the companions stood and make their immolation and began shaving for each other.
Demonstrating his love & loyalty to them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – told Aisha in the long hadith of Um Zara' narrated by Al-Bukhari: I am in my love and loyalty to you just like Abi Zara' and Um Zara" Aisha replied: you are dearer to me more than my father and mother, you are even more loyal and loving than Abi Zara' to Um Zara".
Choosing the Best Nicknames to them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was calling Aisha o Aish (nickname of Aisha), this is Jibreel (the angel of revelation) telling you the greetings. Aisha said: may peace and blessings be upon him, you (the Prophet) see what I can't see. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was calling Aisha "al-humairaa" (i.e. White-skinned woman with blushed cheeks).
Eating & drinking with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: when I drink water from the pot while in menstruation period and give the pot to the Prophet – peace be upon him – he drinks from the same place which touched my mouth, moreover, during menstruation, I was eating from the piece of meat and giving the same to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and the Prophet puts his mouth in the same place of mine (in the same spot I was eating from).
Not Complaining of their Circumstance
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: i was combing the hair of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while in menstruation.
Resting & Sleeping in their Laps
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: the Prophet – peace be upon him – was resting on my lap while I was in menstruation and he was reading Quran.
Going on picnics & accompanying them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was casting lots between his wives when he wanted to go out. Once, the Prophet cast a lot between his wives and the lot was the share of Aisha and Hafsa together. At night, the Prophet walks with Aisha and speaks to her. Knowing that, Hafsa told Aisha: why don't you ride on my camel and I ride yours and see what happens? Aisha replied: okay. Then Aisha rode the camel of Hafsa while Hafsa rode the camel of Aisha. The Prophet – peace be upon him – then went to the camel of Aisha while Hafsa was riding it, greeted her and walked together until she got down. Seeing that, Aisha felt jealousy and tried to put her leg between the lemon grass and say: Oh my Lord, send a scorpion or a snake to sting me, this is your Prophet and I can't say anything to him.
Helping them in the Household Duties
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet in his home? She replied: he was helping in doing the family duties and when he hears the call of prayer he goes out.
Depending on Himself to Relieve them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – was asked about the manners of the Prophet – peace be upon him – in his home. She replied: he washes his clothes, milks his ewe, and serves himself.
She said also: he sews his clothes, cleans his shoes and does what men generally do in their homes.
Tolerating for their happiness
Aisha narrated that Abu Baker – may Allah be pleased with them – entered the home of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while two young girls were striking on the tambourine and singing and while the Prophet – peace be upon him – was laying down and covering himself with his clothes. Seeing him, the Prophet uncovered his face and told him: O Aba Baker, let them continue, these are the days of Eid (festival). The days were mina days and the Prophet – peace be upon him – was in Medina.
Treat them fairly while angry
Once, Aisha was angry at the Prophet – peace be upon him – so, he told her: do you accept Abu Obaida Bin Al-Jarrah as a judge between us? She replied: no, this man will not issue a judgment against you in my favor. He said: do you accept Omar as a judge? She replied: I fear Omar. He said: do you accept Abu Baker (her father)? She replied: yes I accept him.
Calm them down in panic
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was putting his hand on the shoulder of his wife when she is angry and saying: "o Allah, forgive her sins, relieve her heart from rage and protect her from distress".
Giving presents and showing affection to their friends
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and said: send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: why Khadijah! The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this hadith ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
74712- when he slaughtered the sheep said: send it to the friends of khadijah.
Praising & thanking them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: the rank of Aisha to the other women is like the rank of the porridge to the other foods.
Feeling happy when they were happy
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was playing with dolls when she was with the Prophet – peace be upon him. She added: my friends were coming to visit me and they were feeling shy of the Prophet – peace be upon him – but he was letting them to be with me; in another narration, in the hadith narrated by Jarir: I was playing with dolls while I was in his home.
Feeling pleased when they were glad
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: once, the Prophet – peace be upon him – came from a battle and there was a cover for my dolls in my room. The wind uncovered the dolls. Seeing that, the Prophet said: what is this? She replied: my daughters. He said: what is the thing between them? She replied: it is a horse. He said: what is this thing on the horse? She replied: they are two wings. He said: a horse with two wings!! She replied: ¿didn't you hear that Sulaiman Bin Dawood – peace be upon them – was having horses with wings? The Prophet then laughed until his molars could be seen.
Expressing his love to them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said: I have not ever been jealous of any woman more than Khadijah in spite of not seeing her. The Prophet – peace be upon him – was slaughtering the sheep and said: send it to the friends of Khadijah". One day I made him angry; I told him: why Khadijah! The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: "I was endowed with her love". Another narration for this hadith ended in the story of the sheep without the remainder.
Considering their best manners
"…the faithful husband should not hate his faithful wife, because if he hates certain manner in her character, then he should not forget the other good manners in her character".
Keeping their privacy
"…the worst rank for a man at the day of judgment is the rank of the man who sleeps with his wife and then discloses her privacy".
Refraining from beating or abusing them
"The Prophet – peace be upon him – has not ever beaten any woman, any servant or anything in his hand other than fighting in the way of Allah the almighty. He does not take revenge from anyone harmed him except when breaching the orders of Allah the almighty, at which case, he takes revenge".
Consoling & wiping their tears
Safiyah – may Allah be pleased with her – was traveling with the Prophet – peace be upon him – and it was her day. She was slow in walking. The Prophet – peace be upon him – received her while crying and saying: you gave me a slow camel. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – wiped her eyes with his hands and consoled her. Reported by An-Nasai.
Putting the bite in her mouth
The Prophet – peace be upon him said: "if you expend anything seeking the pleasure of Allah Almighty, even if you put a bite in the mouth of your wife, he will promote you to a higher degree in Paradise".
Fulfilling their needs
"O Prophet of Allah ¿what are the rights of my wife? He said: to feed her when you eat, clothe her when you clothe, don't beat her face, don't abuse her and don't abandon her except at home".
Trusting them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – prohibited men from knocking the door of their families at night trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes. In another narration, he did not mention "trying to charge them with treason or follow their mistakes".
Remembering & caring about them
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was visiting his eleven wives within a short period of time, at night or in the day. I said to Anas: ¿was he bearing that? Anas said: he had the power of thirty men.
Respecting them during menstruation
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was making love with his wives above the loincloth while in menstruation.
Accompanying them in travel
The Prophet – peace be upon him – used to cast lots between him wives when he wanted to travel then he takes the one who wins the lot. He cast a lot between us in one of his battles and it was me who won it; therefore, I went with the Prophet – peace be upon him – after the revelation of al-Hijab (veil) verse.
Racing & playing with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated that she was accompanying the Prophet – peace be upon him – in travel while she was a young girl. She said I was still slim. The Prophet – peace be upon him – told his companions to go forward. They went forward. Then he told me: come, I want to have race with you. We started the race and I won. After a period of time, I went in travel with him and he said to his companions go forward. The companions went forward and then he told me: come to have a race with you. At that time, I forgot the former race and I was fat. I told him: how can we race while I am in this situation (fat)? He replied: you will do it. Then we started the race and he won. He laughed then and said: this is for the previous (race) one.
Choosing the best nicknames for them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – said to the Prophet – peace be upon him: O Prophet of Allah, all of your wives have nicknames except me. The Prophet – peace be upon him – replied: take the name of your son abdullah (i.e. Abdullah Bin Al Zubair), your nickname now is Um Abdullah. It’s said that: she was called um abdullah until she died though she has not ever given birth.
Sharing happiness and joy with them
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: by Allah the Almighty, I saw the Prophet – peace be upon him – standing at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing with their bayonets in the mosque of the Prophet – peace be upon him – while he was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing and was waiting for me until I finish by my own will. So, try to consider the desires of the young girls, they like playing.
116691- Aisha narrated: i saw the Prophet– peace be upon him – at the door of my room and the Habashi people were playing in the mosque and the Prophet – peace be upon him – was covering me with his gown so that I can see them playing.
Spreading happiness in his house
Aisha – may Allah be pleased with her – narrated: once, Sawda visited us and the Prophet – peace be upon him – sat down between me and her, one leg in her lap and the other in mine. I made then khazira (food) and told her: eat! She refused. I said: if you don't eat i will stain your face with khazira but she insisted not to eat; therefore, i put my hand in khazira and painted her face. Seeing that, the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed and gave his share in khzaira to Sawda and told her stain her face; so, Swada stained my face and the Prophet – peace be upon him – laughed. Then omar – may Allah be pleased with him – passed by and called for Abdullah. The Prophet – peace be upon him – thought that he will enter but Omar said to us: go wash your faces. Aisha said: since then, I still fear Omar due to the Prophet’s respect to him.
Loving & respecting their families
The Prophet – peace be upon him – appointed Amer Bin Al-Aas as a leader to Zat Al-Salasil battle. Feeling the love of the Prophet, amer asked the Prophet: whose is the dearest to you? He answered: (Aisha), Amer said: I mean, from men: he replied: (her father), Amer said: who then? The Prophet replied: (Omar), then the Prophet mentioned several men; so, Amer kept silence in order not to be the last of them.
Keeping their dignity in ordeals
Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – sat down sweating heavily. He started wiping his sweat and said: be happy Aisha, Allah the almighty has revealed your innocence. I said: all praise be to Allah the almighty. Then the Prophet – peace be upon him – went out and recited the following verses: {those who brought forward the lie are a body among yourselves: think it not to be an evil to you; on the contrary it is good for you: to every man among them (will come the punishment) of the sin that he earned, and to him who took on himself the lead among them, will be a penalty grievous}.
Giving time to adorn themselves
We went for a battle with the Prophet – peace be upon him – and I was riding on my camel but someone followed me from behind and began urging my camel with a stick; so, my camel went forward quickly more than the best camels. The Prophet – peace be upon him – said: (why you are in a hurry?). I said: I got married recently. He said: (you married a virgin or not?). I replied: a not virgin. He said: (isn't it better to marry a young girl so that you can have fun with each other?). Then, when I went to consummate the marriage, the Prophet– peace be upon him – said: (wait until night – i.e. After Al-Isha (evening Prayer) – so that the bride can comb her hair and get ready).
Considering their psychology while they were ill
The Prophet – peace be upon him – was, if one of his family members sick, reading surah Al-Falq verse and An-Nas verses on the sick member of his family and wiping him with his hands. When he got sick, which caused his death, I started reading the two verses and wiped him with his own hands because they are more blessed than mine.
Bringing good news and joy to them
Jibreel (the angel of revelation) – peace be upon him – came to the Prophet – peace be upon him – and said: o Prophet of Allah, this is Khadija coming holding a pot of food or drink, when she reaches you, tell her the greetings of Allah Almighty and me and tell her that Allah has prepared for her a house in Paradise made out of pearls wherein she will enjoy calmness and comfort.
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